PREMIER LEAGUE POLITICS

The upcoming elections can be confusing to us football fans so here's my Premier League Guide to the Elections. Hope is helps.

Led by the pantomime villain, who is quick to condemn all before him and their tactics while defending his own. Yet to fulfil their promise, massively underachieving, yet its everybody else's fault but theirs. Fondness of laying the blame on those who came before him in an attempt to hide his own tactical ineptitude. He thinks hes the chosen one but we all know he is just the puppet for his evil European master who pulls the strings, makes the important decisions and controls the coffers. Spends many a press conference, defending his rubbish tactics, attacking fellow managers and denying he is falling way short of the mark. Loyal supporters hold him in such high regard and see him as the way forward whereas he is buying time until he earns himself a lucrative cushy number somewhere in Europe.

FINE GAEL ARE

Next up we have

Labour are lead by the one person who couldn't predict Tuesday morning on Monday evening. Thrust into the limelight with the change to lead at their most powerful, somehow Labour's chosen one turns out to be as successful as the chosen one at the last song of the last slow set in Coppers, seemed like the real deal at the time but in hindsight..... Its hard to explain how the same team which propelled Labour to greatness, fell apart so quickly and fell away with a whimper leaving even the most loyal supporters disgruntled. Rumours of internal upheaval and a team revolt are rife. Obviously in need of rebuilding, starting at the top, it make take a number of years to return to the glory days.

LABOUR ARE

Following on are

The party have a set of beliefs which don't work, but by God are they going to stick with them no matter what. The leader tries to disguise the fact they have been using the same tactics for a number of years now with little or no success. Having been in the wilderness for years now any little victory is celebrated wildly although the glory days are long gone and there is no chance in high heaven of them returning despite the protestations of the gaffer. Happy to saunter along and make the occasional unsuccessful foray into Europe, Fianna Fail a party with little backbone or will to fight when the going gets tough. Fortunately for them their chief protagonists have been performing miserably too allowing the party to hang onto the coattails of greatness while never really looking like or having the desire to get back to the top of the mountain.

FIANNA FAIL ARE

Then there's

With a leader from Northern Ireland and a a tenancy to stick to stringently to their belief Sinn Fein have become a serious contender for the title. Nobody saw them coming but one thing is for sure they are a real force and not to be taken lightly. Buoyed on by fanatical supporters it is likely they will fall jut short of the big prize but realistically they were always going to be happy with silver medals and a triumphant return to Europe. With a mix of experience and youth, they look like the real deal, but  word of caution, now that your up there, you are there to be shot down. Can they handle the pressure? Looking likely to build on the groundwork put in and the experience of the staff in the boot room. Not everybody's cup of tea but there wasn't a person outside of Chelsea who took and pleasure in their recent reversal. This year Sinn Fein were everybody's second team even if alot of people would not be seen dead admitting it in public. Punching above their weight although its not actually that much of a surprise that they do

SINN FEIN ARE

I suppose we better mention

Who? Oh them. Are they still around? Who' in charge of them now? I forgot all about them. Do you remember when they used to be good. Everybody's not so guilty pleasure back in the day yet today nobody will ever admit to being a fan. They still have their own band of disillusioned fans who believe the glory days can and will return however the management have made so many bad decisions, effectively ruining the party. Its lucky they are more than half way down the Swanee at the minute so they will have less of a fall from grace. The party most likely to implode. The only reason people even bother with them now is to see them get another hammering, Nobody would care or even notice if they disappeared tomorrow.

THE GREEN PARTY ARE

And last bit not least we have

What a fine and talented bunch of individuals the independents are. It's hard to believe that just a short few years ago they were playing in the second division, with the odd superstar like a Tony Gregory but on the whole an average bunch trying to make a living. Starting to make inroads in Europe and the bookies favourites and likely winners for the locals, the tide had turned in the past 5 years. With such a multitude to choose from it may be difficult to decide on the best starting line up and picking your team isn't going to be easy. With so much talent there is no doubt there will be casualties who have to watch on from the sidelines and wait for their day to shine, which no doubt will come around again. Not everybody's first choice but everybody would rather the flair and panache to the backs to the wall defend our tactics at all costs.

THE INDEPENDENTS ARE

So to sum up the election results should reflect the Premier League Table 2014